Have you ever found yourself wondering if something is wrong with you sexually? We often hear people associating sex to pleasure, but when you engaged in it for the first time, no one told you that it would be that painful. Do you agree?
For women, painful sex when you do it for the first time is not really a problem. However, you should be aware that there are really sexual problems that plagued women. You should be aware of this so that when you encounter it, you will not be confused if it is normal or not.
Sexual problems can be frustrating because it can limit your performance on the bed or worse, affect your relationship. For married women, it is your duty to be intimate with your husband. Thus, it is necessary that you are aware of your sexual health.
Do you have sexual problems or not? Read below to know find out.
What is sexual problem?
Sexual problem also called as sexual dysfunction refers to a problem that one encounters in any phase of the sexual response cycle. This may obstruct you from enjoying or experiencing satisfaction during sexual activity.
Sexual dysfunction is common for all gender, but more on women. According to the report, 31% of men and 43% of women reported some degree of difficulty when it comes to getting intimate with their partner.
An online survey involving 15,048 heterosexual women aged 16 to 74 were asked about their sex lives. The questions were scored on a four-point scale with zero meaning the absence of it and three meaning severe or extreme problem.
Here are some of the sexual problems that brought distraught to women. Most of them tended to increase with time, while others remained steady across the age spectrum.
#1 Problem: Lack of Sexual Drive
The more sexually active you are, the more you take pleasure in sex. Unfortunately, there are times when you are not in the mood. However, when you are always not interested in getting laid, then that could be a sign of a sexual dysfunction.
This problem affects more than 10% women between ages 20 to 24, 20% for women ages 25 to 29 and very common among women in their 50s and 60s.
There are a lot of reasons why you might find yourself not interested in copulation. The reasons include work exhaustion, body image insecurities, relationship problems, psychological distress, birth control and antidepressants.
As for exhaustion and body image insecurities, you have to work out to shed the extra pounds. The more active you are the more energy you have, so you won’t surely be too tired to say “no” when your husband asks you to be intimate.
You can also consume aphrodisiacs with your partners to increase your libido or set the mood early by engaging into flirty texts. Anger can also turn your mood down, if you often have a conflict with your partner, you should settle it. While a few conflict cannot be avoided in every relationship, maintaining it is also unhealthy.
#2 Problem: Lubrication Issues
Normally, when you are already in the mood your vagina lubricates. If you struggle to get wet, there might be an issue. When your vagina is dry, sex can be painful and uncomfortable, so you can’t simply ignore this problem.
Based on the study, lubrication problems is equal among women between ages 16 and 49. After the menopause and hormonal change, the problem increases.
#3 Problem: Sexually Arousal Disorder
Was there a time in your life when you really want to get laid but your body fails to cooperate? You can’t feel any sensation and nothing turns you on. You don’t even get wet. Then you are probably suffering from a sexual arousal disorder.
Sexual arousal disorder is the lack of genital swelling and lubrication before and during sex. Under normal circumstances, when you are sexually stimulated, there is an increase in blood flow to the genitals which makes the labia and vaginal wall swell causing the vagina to lubricate. At the same time, the vagina gets bigger to accommodate a penis.
The signs and symptoms of this disorder may include lack of vaginal lubrication, lack of vaginal dilation or lengthening, decreased in genital swelling and decrease in genital or nipple sensation.
This problem could be due to psychological and subjective experiences. For instance, sexual abuse or other trauma in the past, a strict religious upbringing that gives you a negative thought about being sexual and a negative body image.
Don’t worry though because you can do something to alleviate this.
If you have vaginal lubrication issues, you can use personal lubricants. If you feel that you can’t be easily aroused, maybe you can ask your man for a foreplay. Yes, fondling might work to set you in the mood and help you get wet.
#4 Problem: Orgasm Difficulties
Women tend to struggle in achieving their big-O compare to men. Do you agree? Was there a time in when you just can’t achieve your orgasm no matter what sexual position you do with your partner?
According to the study, orgasm difficulties affect most women (25.4%) between ages 20 and 24. This decreases when you reach your late 20s, 30s and 40s. However, the same problem may return when you reach your 50s.
The study showed that orgasm difficulty tend to affect women in their early 20s because it is at this age when they likely have sex with casual partners. Being intimate with someone that you don’t have an emotional connection with is associated with a lower chance of orgasm.
However, as you get older, you are more likely to have found a consistent sexual partner and become more comfortable and knowledgeable about what turns you on. That is why it is a lot easier to achieve orgasm when you are in your late 20s.
If you want to enjoy the sexual activity, do not engage in casual sex. Find a partner whom you trust and is comfortable with. Someone who will cooperate and help you achieve your big-O.
In addition to that, learn to stimulate yourself. Another survey conducted for the book, “The Big ‘O'” learned that 47% of women climaxed for the first time through masturbation, 32% through sexual intercourse, 20% through petting and 1% while sleeping.
If you know how to turn yourself on to climax, you can show this to your partner so that you can achieve orgasm together.
Many women reported that they achieve their big O when they rub their clitoris. Perhaps, you could try clitoral stimulation the next time you get intimate with your partner. Some experienced it when their partner gave them an oral sex. If this turns you on, don’t be shy to ask your partner to get down there.
You can also try to change the atmosphere of your bedroom like adding candlelight and soft music. You can try different sexual positions or even play porn in the background if you feel that this will help you climax easily.
In general, you have to develop a new perspective when it comes to sex to fully enjoy it. For instance, you need to work on your orgasm. You can’t just lie on your back and have your man do the thing and expect to climax.
#5 Problem: Painful Sex
Painful sex or dyspareunia is another sexual problem that may hold you back from achieving your orgasm. This is associated with pain in vagina, clitoris or labia during intercourse Dyspareunia is a complex sexual dysfunction.
This usually plagued women between 16 to 19 years old. However, this is less common in women in their 30s and 40s, but the rate climbs up when women reach their 50s, which could be due to menopause and hormonal changes.
Experts think that this can be due to vaginal dryness, UTI or psychological trauma. However, there are more potential reasons for this according to WebMD. These include vaginismus, vulvodynia, vaginal infections, vaginal injury, cervix problems, uterus problems, endometriosis, ovary issues, pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease or copulating too soon after surgery or childbirth.
In most cases, painful sex does not require medical treatment. For instance, dyspareunia due to childbirth can be avoided by waiting at least 6 weeks after childbirth before having intercourse. It is important that you practice patience and gentleness.
If the pain is due to vaginal dryness you can use lubricants. However, if the cause of the dryness is due to menopause, you have to seek the help of a health care professional about estrogen creams or other medical prescription.
If you feel that there are no underlying medical cause for your sexual pain problems, a sexual therapy might help. Some individuals need to resolve issues like guilt, inner conflict regarding sex and past abuse to get comfortable and enjoy the act.
If you experience any of the problems mentioned above, don’t hesitate to try the solutions provided. Most, if not all sexual problems can be resolved, so don’t lose hope.